Saturday, March 10, 2007

Would You Like a Virgin With That?

Maryam met Adnan, a religious young man. Through her parents he proposed, but as they got to know each other he revealed a secret to her that would give her a reason to reject his marriage proposal. In the days of his ignorance, he committed illegal sexual relations with a few girls. He was not a virgin.

When she told her mother and aunties they were not shocked. Men are expected to have more experience in that department, they told Maryam. How ironic, Maryam told me. If it was the other way round, the girl would be punished and shunned. But it is socially accepted for a man to be a non-virgin.

What happened to religion? We are all equal in front of Allah, so what is haram for women is also haram for men, like zina. How can we shrug casually when we hear of a man who is not a virgin, thinking it is normal for men? Besides these questions, Maryam is now confused. She would like to marry a man who is a virgin. But she also knows that this man has repented and is now a religious man.

To marry a virgin or to marry a non-virgin, that is the question for you to answer.